Professional Bimbo

Don't get me wrong. I am not all that patriotic but I don't know why, every year, Merdeka Day, there is something that haunts me a little. One of the most significant Merdeka Day I could remember is the year 2000. I do not know why, but the image of that night is so clear to me. I had the yellow lights on. And everybody went down to KLCC to see fireworks. I pushed everything in the living room to one side, and I mopped the apartment. And I had a little naughty phone date with this guy from Penang (whom came out from the same secondary school that I did - what a small world) - and a paperclip. I don't even remember his name anymore. Today, I woke up to a gloomy sky. I wanted to go to the office to work. Aside being lazy, the sky is really a bit depressive today. And I am missing someone dearly. Not because I still love him, but because of the times that we had spent. The kiwi fruit, the late nights in the office, and that bloody window. Went out dinner with this person, shar...

Jackie always reminded me of something. She once said, she doesn't understand why people keep diaries because most of the time there are only sad memories in it. Why do people would want to keep such written memories? When I was in the shower I had such thoughts. You know, sad stuff. About running away. Sacrifice. And being selfish. It's a contradicted moment. I have happy stuff to blog about as well. But you see, when you are shadowed with unhappiness, you are just, well, not happy. I blame it on the heat.

Feeling is a funny thing. Something that you can't derive using a formula. I hate things when they are always trapped in the grey area. That is why I am a mathematics and physics student. Everything under the sun must be able to be derived using formulas. Today, there is a broken heart. She found out that the man she loved all these while, not only had no feelings for her, but is in love with someone else. Years back someone's heart got broken as well. The man she loves so much, loves someone else. She was angry with the woman who stole his heart away. Didn't she know that his heart belonged to someone else? She kept on telling herself, she so needed to be slapped in the face. Slapped in the face. A bird once told me when it comes to love it's not that easy. If you have the foundation correct, things will follow through. I couldn't agree with that more. If you are with the person not because of your love for her, but because of something else, then something is wron...

My mum had a small boutique when I was 7. I would hang out in her boutique and observed her selling clothes to her customers. And I admired her so much. When I was in Primary 1, we had to fill in this form, what do you want to be when you are grow up. I happily filled in it as Salesgirl. When I was in my early teens, I was growing up a little bit weird. Watching too much TV, I find a bit of fascination in being psychotic. Sometimes I was a loner. Sometimes I was Miss Popular. And I am still a little bit of like that instead. I had to fill in that dreadful form again of what I want to be when I am to grow up. I happily filled in as a Psychiatrist. When I was in my late teens, I was quite attached with numbers and physics. I don't know why, but I wanted to be a Civil Engineer. I was actually amazed by roads and bridges infrastructures I think. And I ended up graduated with a degree in Electronics Engineering majoring in Computer. And working as a consultant wayyyyy out of engineering...

I am having a pounding headache right now. Too much input for an evening. I've attended a good meeting today. From all over the country, top 25 country accounts' holders gathered to brainstorm how to improve account management (involved in 3 accounts me =P). This is really really something compared to the previous company I was attached with. I've seriously never seen one company, 100% headcount is made of dynamic people. 80% of us were women, including our GM. Powerful women in the conference room. And seriously, for once, I feel proud to be part of the team. Somehow this reminds me a bit of Shaun ChocBunny. I still remember he telling me, I am not going to talk to you until you get that account manager position. He has his little ways to motivate me and he is always there to be my sounding board whenever I jump at work. Cute, he says. And you know, I do have to thank him for that =)

You know that show, Sex And The City , about four women in one city. Each reveals a different side of the dating scene in New York, each is unique with their extreme characters. One fine evening, while we are irc-ing, we came up with our own local version. First we have our darling Katherine** . She is this typical young college kid. You know, the ambitious 19-year-old who doesn't have a clue it's a jungle out there in the corporate world. One thing about Katherine is that she loves old men. And when I say old, I really meant old. For a 19-year-old, her youngest boyfriend is 36 years old. At 27, the oldest I've ever had is 35. Go figure. Then we have our sexy Jolene**. She is the high flyer. Great job making great money. Have her own place, driving a sports car. Jolene is in a steady relationship with her boyfriend. However, she is forever telling you as long as she is not married, she is still open for bids. But she always announce she is attached. Next we have the powerf...

I was telling a friend that this life that I am living is a blessed life. Somehow, things just iron out their ways. At the right place. At the right time. I told her, must have been I've done something right in my past life to have a such blessed life this life. Then she asked me, how about your next life? Then I told her, in my next life, she should be quite blessed as well because I've been good this life. She couldn't agree more. I wouldn't say I am not selfish but I have always love to make people happy whenever I could. It just brings you so much joy to see the other person smiling for you. I have a bird who tells me, how incapable of myself to put my own interest in front of everybody else's. Seriously, I really don't have a problem with that. Because, it makes me happy. Friday night, went to this quite nice buffet dinner with Hazy Herman and there is one point of the dinner he was arguing with me about cravings in life. He was so disgusted with me when I ...

"Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile." One of my best asset is never my breast. It has always been and will always be my smile. Oh my, don't you wish you can stay young forever muahahaha... And if someone would have fall in love with me, I would believe it was because of my sweet sacharine smile. So children, smile a little smile for me too =)

I remember this line from The Sweetest Thing : "Aren't you just tired of games already?" Something like that ler... Doesn't matter. Anyway... Been quite a while already I didn't spend time with my colleagues. Today the whole day and evening was spending time with them and amazingly, I realise that I do miss them. That is something new I didn't know about my own capability kakaka... Found out quite shocking things as well. Kin San messaged me out of the blue. That is one name we haven't heard of for quite a while. He was just saying hi so I said hi back. When I was on my way home just now, we spoke over the phone for a while. Still the busy person he is. And last night, guessed who I dreamt of as my boyfriend? OMFG. Dr. Liew!! I swear I didn't want to wake up marn. We went to BlueFish Restaurant and he ordered TwoFish. Muahahahaha.... He then brought me to visit his clinic... just the 2 of us... so romantic *swooooons* Yes, I am psychotic. I am psychot...

I had this Great Pyranese when I was younger. His name is Pat. 5 of us in the family, I am the only one he bullies - the gate, the car, the chases. And I am also the only one that he listens to the most - the paw and the wagging tail. I remembered there was one night when I was home alone with my youngest brother, it was a lonely drizzling night. After putting my brother to sleep, I went down and sat by the stairs where Pat was sitting down there looking at me. Then I stroked on his thick white coat and started pouring my heart out to him. Pat was just sitting down there listening to me, patiently. Months later, I came over here to continue my studies. And one fine evening, I received a phonecall from my mum. Pat has cancer and he was unable to walk or eat for weeks. He had been put to sleep. 2 weeks ago. Nobody dared to tell me cause they know I would cry. And I did. I remembered that evening, I was lying down on my bed and tears were rolling down. My then boyfriend was just sitting n...

As long as you can spot a poison apple when it knocks on your door, you'll always be able to find your happy ending.

Am looking at my 2004 sketchbook right now. Kicked off the sketcbook with a hospital bill. "Wowwie. What a way to start a new sketch book! Notice I was in the hospital because of that. DIVISION ADHESION CONJUNCTIVA. Classic example of how hilarious a single girl in a city could be" My first namecard. First permanent job. "My first perm job. Didn't even last for 4 months! Classic example of a screwed up organisation & office politics! Eeyuck!" My first parking saman receipt @ RM70 in Bangsar. "Wow, am such an adult now. Not only I have a car, I've a saman too =)" A bedsheet receipt from Ausino. "Fell in love with this bedsheet. Billed it to Mr. Chew-Proforma =)" Halter top receipt from Bodyglove. "Dunno where is the gloves receipt. Omilord - I've finally determined to return to the driving range!" Dinner receipt with Shaun. "One phrase. "Silly girl, go back to sleep." One pout =(" 3 movie tickets stubs...

Things have been taking quite a few turns lately. Something career related. Something family oriented. Something personal. While I was driving home and composing this blog in my head, I find myself so unfocused. I find myself saying "Tutu, you take pride in your capability of putting others in front of you. Why are you doing this to hurt people?" I find myself saying "Tutu, you take pride in your simplicity. That is why you are being adored." And that somehow reminded me of Gary. Gary, love is simple. My colleague said something to me today. She said, "I've never met somebody as beautiful as you. The kindness and the chirpiness." I am hearing another friend telling me, "You just need to find someone who is able to hold your interest, isn't it?" I am hearing my boss telling me, "Never let your work to be jaded. Be excited everytime." And today while I was composing an email to rectify an issue, I find myself so jaded. I come home...

I went into the saloon around 8pm at night after a traumatising day. I told the stylist I want my hair cut. Needless to say, just like the previous 3 stylists, he refused to cut my hair. Ow Ow Stylist: Your hair will go pong-pong wan... Determined Me: I don't care I want to cut my hair. Ow Ow Stylist: Make sure you won't regret wor... You know your hair ah... so thick and long so nice bla bla bla... Not-Listening Me: Look, there is this place in IKANO that cuts hair for 12 bucks for 10 mins. They are not going to query me there. So either I screw up hair there or you are going to minimize the damage here. Ow Ow Stylist: I will do my best. Happier Me: Goooood >. This is how I look like when I just come out from the shower. Hair is flat. And this is how I look like when the hair is dry and it goes pong-pong. I don't care. I still look sweet and lovely. Bleah >.

These pictures were taken during Kenny's wedding dinner. Standing From Left: Lina the Pharmacist: Years known: 14. Back in school: Not very close. These days: Fortnight dinner, weekly emails. May Yee the Sales Exec aka Iron Woman: Years known: 20. Back in school: Close to not so close to quite close. These days: Constant contact, close. Soon Ling the Banker: Years known: 11. Back in school: Not close. These days: Only meet up during special functions, like this one, Kenny's dinner. Me =) Yan zheh the Make-up Artist: Years known: 14. Back in school: Not so close. These days: Only meet up during special functions. Ah Siew the Businessman: Years known: 17. Back in school: Not close. These days: Sees him on MSN everyday but rarely chat. Ah Wong the Engineer: Years known: 17. Back in school: Quite close. These days: Was my housemate for 1 year, then he moved out. Now just chat with him occassionaly over MSN. Chung Kah Yin the Sales Exec: Years known: 11. Back in school: Not c...

I started golfing when I was in my teens. Was never good in the game. Fact is, I suck in it. But I like the game nevertheless. Golf is the one and only game that I can understand the most. The rules and regulations. The score. The people in it. 3 weeks back I went back to the driving range. After missing in action for near 10 years. Needless to say I still suck at it. But it doesn't really matter. Because the game itself entertained my Saturday afternoon =)

Hello. My name is Tutu Ku. And I am a Steamboat-holic. There was one time I burnt my tongue because of steamboat. And doctor orders is to keep away from one month. Yeah, it was that serious. I've never fancy fried or oily food. I love my food wet. So needless to say, anything soupy is in my favour. Including steamboat. Steamboat is a therapeutic meal. Instead of having the food served for you and eat away, you need to take the effort to cook it in boiling soup. Best for blindates I reckon. If your date is a good one, then great. If not, you can concentrate cooking the food =) There is this steamboat in Cheras that I just dig. A hint of alcohol in the soup, along with the fried wanton, it's orgasmic. This one was taken steamboating wtih May Yee and Pui Yee. Wonderful people from Cheras. Then there is this new place that I tried nearby my place. Shabu-shabu. Japanese style. Each person has an individual pot to cook in. Something like the one me and KwokSan went to in Pantai (but ...

This is the story about Ben. Ben is someone that I had an imagination relationship with, as one bird would remind me. And traumatised me for 2 years. I don't care, I am the victim here (!!) Bleah >. Met Ben in a Christian fellowship in my church when I was 18. Or was it 17. I have never quite notice his existence cause I am a quiet person in church who doesn't care much about my surroundings, let alone the people. Yes, I am still the quiet mousy one in church. Bleah >. Until one day, I am not so sure why, I had a dream about Ben. He came to my dream, without any warning and proposed to me. He knelt down before me and gave me a Rolex ring. Don't ask me what is a Rolex Ring, it's a band with a simple 0.2 carat diamond within the band, and in the inner side of the band was engraved a rolex mark, hence the Rolex Ring. I woke up from the dream, and I've never look at Ben the same again. I started to pay a little more attention to Ben and I've noticed things tha...

It has been quite some time already that I don't have that feeling inside me. Though there is no doubt, it's all wrong. A bird said something to me that directly hit on the spot. Hole-In-One. I am not confused. I am just contradicting. Or was it. Anyway, the bird said, the heart says yes and the head is screaming no. So I have a conflict to follow the heart or the head. Hummm.... seriously, it sounded so much nicer in the email hahaha... cacat. ++edit++ The original email... "You’re not confused. You’re conflicted. The head says no. The heart says yes. Now, to listen to the head or the heart? You know the head is always right. But can you ignore your heart and follow your head?" ++edit++ Anyway... Am trying to keep things in control. Trying. Because the heart is weak. And the head is not strong enough.