"Finding Love Again" Part 2
"... It took more than a year to get over the shock, humiliation and misery of losing a husband, friend and confidant (he was all those things) but I'm glad to say that that old cliche about time being a great healer is true. I can hardly even remember the pain I felt - just enough not to want to experience it again.
I wouldn't say that I'm now cynical about love and men. I have never believed a woman is incomplete without a husband. I think we get on fine without men, but it doesn't mean we can't be happy with special someone too.
Let's just say I 'm not really looking at this moment in time. At 40, I am financially independent and I have three lovely kids. I don't feel in need of a man for traditional reason: companionship, stability and security, reproduction. Perhaps this is why the men I've dated so far are a lot younger than me. Basically, I now date for a laugh. I just want a good time, some conversation, and if there's sex, then that's frequently, although not always, a plus.
I like younger men (in the last four months I've dated three men regularly and they've all been below 30) because they're not looking for a long-term commitment. I have no intention of re-marrying and I want to be answerable to no one but my children and myself.
One thing my young friends (they really are friends before anything else) have done wonders for is my self-esteem. Although my girl friends like to make jokes about me binding these guys into sex slavery, I spend more time chatting over coffee, discussing books and playing computer games than between the sheets with them.
Being a good friend to someone is a real confidence booster. Being the person a guy (or a girl for that matter) chooses to tell their hopes and fears to, calls for teh tarik at 2am, or uses to test their recipe for coffee cheesecake on, is an honour and a privilege. Being valued as a friend is a gift that I value with all my heart. It makes me look at myself with pride. It makes me happy to be me. It makes me not want to be someone else. It makes me remember why I love myself.
In the end, my search for love has always started with the face I see in the mirror."
Daphne Lee lives in a flat held up by piles of books. She loves red fridges, blue rooms, the green of young leaves, white frangipani and lilies, fresh lavender, the gleam in cats' eyes and their sleepy paws, the Cuckmere River at Seven Sisters, punting on the Cherwell, St James Park in the fall, Devi's corner and bak kut teh, a popsicle on a hot day, her three children's lovely faces. She wishes she could wear a snake as a bracelet.
I wouldn't say that I'm now cynical about love and men. I have never believed a woman is incomplete without a husband. I think we get on fine without men, but it doesn't mean we can't be happy with special someone too.
Let's just say I 'm not really looking at this moment in time. At 40, I am financially independent and I have three lovely kids. I don't feel in need of a man for traditional reason: companionship, stability and security, reproduction. Perhaps this is why the men I've dated so far are a lot younger than me. Basically, I now date for a laugh. I just want a good time, some conversation, and if there's sex, then that's frequently, although not always, a plus.
I like younger men (in the last four months I've dated three men regularly and they've all been below 30) because they're not looking for a long-term commitment. I have no intention of re-marrying and I want to be answerable to no one but my children and myself.
One thing my young friends (they really are friends before anything else) have done wonders for is my self-esteem. Although my girl friends like to make jokes about me binding these guys into sex slavery, I spend more time chatting over coffee, discussing books and playing computer games than between the sheets with them.
Being a good friend to someone is a real confidence booster. Being the person a guy (or a girl for that matter) chooses to tell their hopes and fears to, calls for teh tarik at 2am, or uses to test their recipe for coffee cheesecake on, is an honour and a privilege. Being valued as a friend is a gift that I value with all my heart. It makes me look at myself with pride. It makes me happy to be me. It makes me not want to be someone else. It makes me remember why I love myself.
In the end, my search for love has always started with the face I see in the mirror."
Daphne Lee lives in a flat held up by piles of books. She loves red fridges, blue rooms, the green of young leaves, white frangipani and lilies, fresh lavender, the gleam in cats' eyes and their sleepy paws, the Cuckmere River at Seven Sisters, punting on the Cherwell, St James Park in the fall, Devi's corner and bak kut teh, a popsicle on a hot day, her three children's lovely faces. She wishes she could wear a snake as a bracelet.
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Nightwear - Bridalwear - Pyjamas