Amy Schumer, Blacking Out & Mourning
I have been reading this book. Amy Schumer's Girl With The Lower Back Tattoo. It is so funny. I do not remember when was the last time I read a book and laughing out loud. Literally LOL. A lot of times I can so relate to her. With her train of thoughts. Especially the bimbo moments.
Then, there is this chapter in the book she was sharing about her experiences in blacking out. And this is how she explains what black outs are:
"...blacking out is when your mind goes to sleep but your body keeps right on doing whatever your drunk-ass self thinks is a good idea. Blacking out is NOT passing out asleep in a drunken stupor. It's quite the opposite. Your brain is sleeping like an innocent little baby, but your body is at a rave and it keeps making decisions... This is why blacking out is incredibly dangerous. You might look like a regular drunk girl, but you're actually a zombie who won't remember shit later."
I've heard my friends talking about that too and I did not quite get what was she talking about either. How does it actually feel? Till Wednesday night. From 10pm to 12am. I blacked out for the first time. It was shocking when I first discovered and got funny for a while later. Then it became not funny. And I was thinking. Why.
And I came to understand. That I am actually grieving and mourning. Mourning the lost of the 12 years. That is more than a decade. So I should. And could.
To 2 broken hearts.
Then, there is this chapter in the book she was sharing about her experiences in blacking out. And this is how she explains what black outs are:
"...blacking out is when your mind goes to sleep but your body keeps right on doing whatever your drunk-ass self thinks is a good idea. Blacking out is NOT passing out asleep in a drunken stupor. It's quite the opposite. Your brain is sleeping like an innocent little baby, but your body is at a rave and it keeps making decisions... This is why blacking out is incredibly dangerous. You might look like a regular drunk girl, but you're actually a zombie who won't remember shit later."
I've heard my friends talking about that too and I did not quite get what was she talking about either. How does it actually feel? Till Wednesday night. From 10pm to 12am. I blacked out for the first time. It was shocking when I first discovered and got funny for a while later. Then it became not funny. And I was thinking. Why.
And I came to understand. That I am actually grieving and mourning. Mourning the lost of the 12 years. That is more than a decade. So I should. And could.
To 2 broken hearts.
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